Over 10,000 Iraqis and 1000 Americans have died in Iraq as of yesterday. About 3000 people died on 9/11. I don't know the stats on Afghanistan, but that's over 14,000 families directly suffering from the failed policies of Bush, Cheney, Wolfowitz, and yes, Colin Powell, who should have resigned years ago when the White House started pulling the rug out from under him.

Today was a typical day for me. I read 50 emails, managed the company, made some calls, felt alright. Then I realized "Saturday". Come Saturday, I better have my head on straight. I better know my values. I better be the man. It's September 11th, and I'm conflicted. I live in Lancaster, but the memorial for Rob is on Long Island. I want to be a part of Lancaster and there's the big Event here, a fundraiser for a local nonprofit. I need a date for the Event, I think to myself. And 9/11 is 3 years gone, though it's here again. And it doesn't feel any different. I smell the insides of the computer I'm fixing, and I'm back in downtown Manhattan looking for Rob, smelling the same smell. All that smoke, for months. We weren't best friends. I hadn't seen him since high school. But his wife needed help finding him. My neighbors were gone, 11 of them. They just didn't come back, because that's what happens to firefighters in New York. That's such a twisted view of the world, but that's what I remember today.

In late September--or October, I can't remember--we drove up to Connecticut for the first memorial, which was really a funeral. This time, it's the closure that will never come. A gesture that approximates absolution of the spirit. Approximates, but never reaches.